12/23/2024

Dear Diary,
Today is December 23rd, and it’s been 9 years since my dad passed away. You don’t know this, but my book actually begins with that day—how it happened so suddenly, taking away any chance of closure with him. Over time, I’ve realized that children don’t really want closure; they just want to feel seen and loved.

Anyway... today is the first day in months that I’m getting back to the less practical and more bureaucratic side of the business. What a drag 😅. I have to admit, trying to make sense of the IRS is no walk in the park. If only I spoke better English 😂! And then there’s the accounting—figuring out how to properly record expenses. If I had more money, I’d hire an accountant, but we’re scraping by, so I have to cut corners wherever I can.

This morning, we went to see a new house, but it’s not right for us—not in terms of size or requirements. Since we don’t have an income, they asked for a guarantor who earns four times the rent. FOUR TIMES! That’s $12,000! These people are insane. The rent prices here are out of control, and I have to move out of this house by January 5th. Well... there’s time, right?

And I still wonder why my stomach ulcer came back. Why do I always end up dealing with everything at the last minute? 🙁 I’m so torn: Do I move far away from Beverly Hills, lower the rent, and pull my son out of school? Or do I keep choking on these expenses and avoid adding even more stress and tasks to these next 15 days?

In these 15 days, I could actually get so much done. The farmers markets are closed, so I could work on the website, collaborations, production... or I could pack up and move to cut costs. Should I just flip a coin?

If I were giving advice to a stranger, what would I say?
Spend no more than two days evaluating the feasibility without wasting too much time. If it’s not feasible, focus on increasing your income—if you can’t cut costs any further.

Yeah, I think that’s what I’d say...

Anyway, for now, I’m heading to the kitchen to check on the bread dough, and tomorrow I’ll let you know what the agency says.

Anto